When the happy moments go away you're left with only darkness and emptiness. You realize the close friends you had before aren't that close anymore, they moved on. You're back to the problems.
Over there, everything was easy and sunny, problems were not really problems. Now it's rainy and cloudy. Here all the problems come back together. How siblings changed a lot, maybe the most. No respect for parents, think they are adults when they are young. Was I like that? I wasn't perfect, but not like that. You don't know what to do, nobody to talk to. You miss the times a long time ago. Why does everything always have to change? You miss speaking your second language and you miss your other personality. Every time you see that post, your chin feels wet. You miss everything, and it hurts like never before. You try not to think about it, try to avoid the sad thoughts, but they can't always be avoided, they sneak in, like ghosts in the dark.
You don't even know why you're writing it down so hundreds of people can read it. Maybe cause somebody can read, and maybe relate? Maybe nobody can, or maybe someone can, someone far away. When is life ever going to be easy again? -Please wake me up when that happens.